I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
