i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm too high and old for this...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
