whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
