he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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