The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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