I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just invented taco cereal.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
