In America we eat man semen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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