I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
