Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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