Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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