hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
