I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize