Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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