what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
