halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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