Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
