theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
