My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
