it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
