but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
