He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
