OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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