It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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