Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
