Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just found a bag of teeth...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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