all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
