A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
