I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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