theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't turn off my feet"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize