Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
