I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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