thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
