Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
