She said her name was "party"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
