i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
