You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
