I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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