I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
