the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish my penis had a tongue
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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