just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
