What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
