She's JV to your varsity
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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