If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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