So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
