smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My bed smells like the plague
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
