fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Come see our sink grown plant.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
