When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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