Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
