You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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