we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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