I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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