life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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