just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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