watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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