Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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