He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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