The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
