he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
