**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
